Tuesday, November 1, 2016

The Madness: Circus of Coulrophobes Week 4

Dismember The Alamo (Yonkers, NY) 2pts

The Gate (1987)

A childhood favorite and great way to start off the night. Ton of fun with an audience. 4/5

Points: 2

Deathdream (1974)

First time watch on this. I enjoyed it well enough, but a bit downbeat for a Halloween type event. 3.5/5

Points: 2

Death Spa (1989)

Another first time watch. Pretty enjoyable b-movie that goes completely off the rails in the final act. Another fun one to watch with the audience. 3/5

Points: 6 (Someone dressed as a clown is killed)

Event Horizon (1997)

Hadn't seen this since it's initial release. I remembered it being a bit better. The first two thirds are pretty strong but falls apart a bit at the end. The comic relief element was a big mistake. 3/5

Points: 3 (Clown)

The Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors 

Episode 14: 1 Points (clown poster)

Episode 15: .5 Points

Episode 16: 3 Points (Clown is killer)

Episode 17: 1.5 Points (Clown, tramp)

Episode 20: 1.5 Points (Clown poster, clown)

Episode 21: 1.5 Points (Clown poster, clown)

Episode 22: 1 Points (clown)

Episode 23: 3 Points (clown killed)

Episode 25: 3 Points? (clown killed)

Finally got through every single episode. 25 was actually pretty good for a later entry, I kind of got a kick out of the original Simpson family haunting the current one.

Sunday October 23rd

The Funhouse (1981)

The misadventures of   that little boy still make me feel uneasy no matter how many times I watch this. 4/5
Points: 5 (dark ride, clown doll, carnival)

Monday October 24th

Addams Family Values (1993)

The summer camp stuff is so good, it's unfortunate the Fester storyline feels so much like  a retread of the first. 3.5/5

Points: 2

Camp Blood (1999)

I almost gave up on killer clown movies for the remainder of the Madness because of this. I couldn't bring myself to watch the sequels. .5/5
Points: 6 (ATB clown commits murder)

Wednesday October 26th

100 Tears (2016)

I've watched this once before, and I think it holds up pretty well on a second watch. Gore is completely over the top. 3/5
Points: 6 (ATB Clown commits murder)

Fraternity Massacre at Hell Island (2007)

After this and Camp Blood, I've made a personal compromise. No more micro budget clown films, I just can't handle anymore.
Points: 6 (ATB Clown commits murder)

Thursday October 20th

It (1990)

As is the case with the book, the stuff with the kids is really good, the adults not so much. 3/5
Points: 9 (ATB Clown commits murder)

Halloween 5 (1989)

It's probably better than 4, at least it's not as boring. 3/5

Points: 6 (Clown commits murder)

Halloween Wars (2016)

Teams had to make crypts, that one team the constantly fights should probably have gone just out of principal.

Points: 1

Stitches (2012)

Stitches is a real blast that holds up to multiple viewings. 3.5/5

Points: 6 (Clown commits murder)

Friday October 28th

Drive-Thru (2007)

For a film that features a villain named Horny the Clown, it's actually kinda tame. 1/5
Points: 6 (Clown commits murder)

Friday the 13th Parts 2 & 3 (1982, 1983)

Haven't watched much on AMC this season, so I figured why not. 4/5
Points: 4 Total

Saturday October 29th

Puppet Master 4 (2015)

Why does Jester have to be so passive?! If he would just start attacking people more often I'd revisit this entire franchise just for the bonus points. 2/5
Points: 3 (clown doll)

Sunday October 30th

The Peoples Network: Horror Edition (2016)

The warm-up to the event I've been waiting for all madness, the premiere of the new Killjoy movie!  This series of short horror films was entertaining enough, there was kind of a clown thing in there but I know shorts don't count for the bonus points. 3/5
Points: 2

Killjoys Psycho Circus (2016)

It has arrived, the crowdfunded 5th film in the barely mediocre Killjoy franchise! I am baffled by these movies. The change in tone from the first to the 5th film is so strange to me. I think the Evil Bong audience is now driving everything Charles Band puts together. Has me really excited for the next Puppet Master film. 1.5/5
Points: 8 (Premiere bonus)

Monday October 31st

Night of the Demons 2 (1994)

Solid sequel to one of my favorite Halloween themed horror films. Sex, violence and a kick-ass nun, how could you go wrong? 4/5
Points: 3 (clown)

CHUD 2: Bud the Chud (1989)

A not-so-solid sequel to a favorite of mine. It's such a weird turn from the first film it's kind of hard to even compare them. I do like Gerritt Graham in pretty much anything though. 2/5
Points: 6 (The zombie trick or treaters that kill the old couple include a clown)

Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Finally upgraded to the Scream Factory release, totally worth it.  5/5
Points: 2

Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)

Ernest, my wife hates him, my kids tolerate him, I love him! 4/5
Points: 4 (circus poster, clowns)

Takes of Halloween (2015)

Capped off Halloween with a first time watch of this anthology film. Pretty enjoyable, it's one I would throw on every couple of years. 3/5
Points: 2

Total Week 2 Points: 118.5

Thursday, October 27, 2016

2016 Halloween Special

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It's that time of year! It's been a while since we've recorded but we have a show full of Halloween goodies as we discuss sexy and offensive costumes for 2016, the war on Halloween, some urban legends and more! We also review Trick or Treats, Trick or Treat, Trick R Treat and Rob Zombie's 31. Enjoy and Happy Halloween!

Sunday, October 23, 2016

The Madness Circus of Coulrophobes Week 3

Sunday October 16th

The Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors 

Episode 13: 1 Points (clown)

Episode 17: 1.5 Points (clown toy, clown)

Episode 27: 3 Points? (Is Sideshow Bob a clown? If so, he dies.)

I really can appreciate that it was decided to celebrate episode 600 with a Halloween special. The episode itself was ok, though a spoof of Hunger Games seems pretty dated. The segment with Lisa's murderous imaginary friend was my favorite.

Demonic Toys (1992)

I think back to when I was 9 years old, watching this on video, thinking Baby Oopsie Daisy was the funniest thing ever. I'm embarrassed for the 9 year old. The movie's still really entertaining.  4/5
Points: 6 (Clown doll attacks human)

Monday October 17th

American Horror Story Freakshow Episodes 12 & 13(2014)

I really enjoyed the homage to Freaks in episode 12 but found that killing off the majority of the characters in a single episode to be a bit lazy.
Points: 8 total (both episodes have a clown toy, traveling carnival and actual sideshow actor)

Halloween Wars Episode 3 (2016)

That alien grandma was pretty amazing. Someone needs to make that into a movie.
Points: 1 

Demonic Toys 2 (2010)

William Butler, the director of this, plays the role of Merle in Ghoulies 2, a film I also watched this week. I'll choose to remember him for that. .5/5
Points: 6 (ATB clown doll attacks human)

Tuesday October 18th

Jokers Poltergeist (2016)

Eric Robert's seems to have made a bit of a career for himself lately by literally phoning in performances. The only difference here is he's actually on screen, though I still don't believe he was ever on set. .5/5
Points: 6 (ATB Clown commits murder)

Halloween Baking Championship Episode 3 (2016)

Finally a clown challenge!
Points: 2 (clowns!)

Killjoy Goes to Hell (2002)

The gang's back together, sweet! Still better than Killjoy 2. 2.5/5
Points: 6 (ATB clown commits murder)

Wednesday October 19th

Scary or Die (2012)

 Direct to video anthology horror. Only one thing matters. Clown bites man, man turns into clown, new clown man kills people. ATB! 2/5
Points: 6 (ATB clown commits murder)

It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown (1966)

Yearly watch, nothing new to report. 5/5
Points: .5

Toy Story of Terror (2013)

Also becoming a yearly watch, see above. 3/5
Points: .5

Terror on Tour (1980)

First time watch, probably the last time too. Maybe it was the crappy Youtube copy, or just the crappy movie, but it lost me.  1.5/5
Points: 6 (ATB Clown commits murder)

Thursday October 20th

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

Chris Elliott is the best part of this. That little hand gag shouldn't be as funny as it is. 2/5
Points: 6 (ATB Clown doll attacks human)

Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's do the Time Warp Again (2016)

Meh, something about it was just flat. The casting was all over the place, I personally didn't mind Brad, Janet and Columbia, and it felt like it couldn't decide if it were a television remake or a live musical. Maybe if it had committed it would have been better, but I'm doubtful.  2/5
Points: 6 (Premiere night bonus)

Friday October 21st

Freakshow Apocalypse (2007)

I chased an ATB into the depths of low budget independent horror, only to be alluded once again. The end of this movie promises a sequel, which I don't believe ever happened. I am thankful for that as I probably would have watched it. .5/5
Points: 4 (Clown, real sideshow actor)

Twilight Zone: Five Characters in Search of an Exit (1961)

Love this episode. Such a simple premise with an interesting payoff. 5/5
Points: 2 (clown, tramp, clown doll)

Halloween (1978)

It's a classic, nothing more to say here. 5/5
Points: 6 ( Character dressed as clown commits murder)

Slaughter High (1986)

What's in the water at slaughter high? Those kids didn't age a day in 10 years. 3.5/5
Points: 3 ( Killer wearing jester mask)

Saturday October 22nd

Funhouse Massacre (2015)

This turned out to be a fun Saturday afternoon watch. I wasn't expecting much to be honest considering some of the garbage I've been watching lately. 3/5
Points: 6 (clown commits murder)

Ghoulies 2 (1988)

Ghoulies 2, the movie that finally fulfills the tagline promise of the first film. I actually love this movie. It does everything a sequel should do by improving drastically over the original film. I think it's a blast. 4/5
Points: 5 (Clown, traveling carnival, funhouse)

Halloween 4 (1988)

"Jamie's an orphan! Jamie's an orphan! Jamie's uncle's the boogeyman! Jamie's uncle's the boogeyman!" Holy shit those kids were assholes. Jamie should have murdered them at the eend of this thing. 3.5/5
Points: 6 (Jamie murders her stepmother while dressed as a clown)

The Midnight Hour (1985)

Another yearly watch, though I didn't discover it until much later in life. It's the kind of thing I would have been obsessed with as a child. 4/5
Points: 3 (Clown costume)

Chopping Mall (1986)

Finally got around to checking out my blu ray and the upgrade was totally worth it. I probably watch this at least twice year. 5/5
Points: 2

Total Week 2 Points: 102.5

Sunday, October 16, 2016

The Madness Circus of Coulrophobes Week 2

The Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors 

Episode 2: 1.5 Points (clown, clown poster)

Episode 5: 1 Points (clown poster)

Episode 6: 1.5 Points (clown, clown poster)

Episode 7: 1 Points (clown poster)

Episode 9: 1.5 Points (clown, clown toy)

Episode 11: 1.5 Points (clown, clown media)

Episode 12: 1 Points (clown on cereal box)

Quality of the Simpsons Halloween episodes varies overall but has declined in my opinion over the years. I'm working my way through all of the episodes as my daughter really loves them, I'd probably have stopped by now otherwise.

Sunday October 9th

Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)

I'm a big fan of the darker stuff that Disney put out around this time. These are the kind of movies that molded me into the horror fan I would become. It also helps when a movie is as well made as this one.  4/5
Points: 6 (ATB carnival collects souls)

Chopped Junior (2016)

Kids had to cook the three courses using Halloween themed items like zombie skin and vampires blood.  2/5
Points: 1 

Halloween Baking Championship (2016)

I'll be posting a lot of these cooking shows as they are an easy way to get some base points while still entertaining my children. 2/5
Points: 1 

Poltergeist (1983)

Poltergeist is a defining moment in my fandom. It's one of a handful of films that introduced me to the genre, scared the crap out of me and had me looking for more. It still holds up. 5/5
Points: 6 (ATB clown doll attack)

Monday October 10th

Killjoy (2000)

It's real bad. I'm not even sure the ATB is worth it. .5/5
Points: 6 (Clown commits murder)

Judy (2014)

So Judy is the dog...I don't get it. Also, how can such a short movie feel so long? I watched it on the commuter bus and could barely stay awake. .5/5
Points: 6 (ATB clown murders another clown)

Halloween Wars Episode 2 (2016)

The same team won for the second week in a row, I'm not sure I agree. There were some pretty solid renditions of the creepy motels.
Points: 1

Trick or Treats (1982)

A little brat terrorizes his babysitter on Halloween. Parallel to that his father escapes from a mental institute by dressing up as a nurse. I can't tell if it's a horror film or a comedy, either way it fails in both. I've seen it before, and somehow I keep convincing myself that it's not as bad as I remember. 1/5
Points: 3 (Trick or treater is dressed as a clown)

Tuesday October 11th

Dark Ride (2006)

Ham from The Sandlot grows up and convinces his friends to spend the night inside of an infamous dark ride. If only the rest of The Sandlot cast were involved, would have been interesting to see them picked off on by one. 2.5/5
Points: 4 (Boardwalk amusement, dark ride)

Halloween Baking Championship Episode 2 (2016)

It's just not as entertaining as Halloween Wars, I'm not even sure why. Probably the lack in pumpkin carving.
Points: 1

Killjoy 2 (2002)

Wow, I think it's worse than the first one. The movie is 75 minutes long and it's 40 before we even see a clown. Then when he shows up, I just want him to go away. .5/5
Points: 6 (ATB clown commits murder)

Wednesday October 12th

Terrortory (2016)

An anthology film shot entirely in the woods of Maryland on a low budget doesn't leave much room for variation and so we mostly just get stories involving 2 or more people being murdered in the woods. The drone episode was probably the most fun. 2/5
Points: 6 (ATB clown commits murder)

Cake Wars Addams Family (2016)

That final winning cake was a pretty solid homage to the original comic strip.
Points: 1

Thursday October 13th

Trick or Treat (1986)

A lonely metal head accidentally reincarnates his favorite metal singer after he plays his record backwards. Electricity and 80's metal ensue. Still stands up. 3.5/5
Points: 3 (clown)

Friday October 14th

31 (2016)

It's terrible. All of it, terrible. Everything about it seems lazy and uninspired, which is an insult to his many fans who helped him fund it's production. 1/5
Points: 6 (Clown commits murder)

Trick R Treat (2007)

Easily in my top 5 favorite Halloween horror films. Never gets old, no matter how many times I watch it. 5/5
Points: 6 (One of the kids who is drowned on the bus is dressed as a clown)

Pacs Very Scary Halloween 

Pacman and his friends accidentally attend the wrong Halloween party, only to have Pacs brain swapped with an evil scientist. 2/5
Points: 2 ( 1 base point + character dressed as clown)

Saturday October 15th

Freaks (1932)

Watch it yearly around this time. My oldest daughter watched it with me for the first time and she was surprisingly engaged, though I'm sure that laughing out loud was not the effect they were going for when we see the state of Cleopatra at the end. 5/5
Points: 5 (real sideshow actors, traveling circus, clowns)

Killjoy 3 (2010)

It is an improvement, not that the bar was that high. Batty Boop is really annoying though, and I"m sure she's back for the 4th film, so I have that to look forward to. 1.5/5
Points: 6 (clown commits murder)

Tales From the Crypt: Strung Along

Zach Galligan is having an affair with a rich puppeteers wife so the two conspire to kill him. Unfortunately for them his favorite puppet decides to exact revenge. 3/5
Points: 3(clown doll attacks human)

Outside Event: Berry Scary Farm

My family and I go every year, there's a hayride, pumpkin patch, corn maze and a small kid friendly haunted house.
Points: 2

Mickey's House of Villains (2002)

A compilation of Halloween themed Disney cartoons. I was really hoping there'd be a clown in there somewhere but no luck. There are some fun segments though. 3.5/5
Points: 2

RL Stines Monsterville: Cabinet of Souls (2015)

A traveling funhouse pops up in a small town and begins collecting the souls of the local teenagers. An obvious update/ripoff of Something Wicked This Way Comes but a good introduction to horror for younger viewers. 2.5/5
Points: 6 (carnival collects souls)

Girl vs Monster (2012)

A teenager girl discovers that her parents are secretly monster hunters after she accidentally releases all of their captured monsters back into the world on Halloween night. There are way too many random song and dance numbers, but again a decent introduction to scary stuff for kids. 2/5
Points: 3 (clown)

Dolls (1987)

"Fuck you clowny!". Yep, pretty much. I don't know why anyone would want to fill their homes with porcelain dolls, but to each their own. 5/5
Points: 6 (clown doll attacks human)

Total Week 2 Points: 107

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Halloween Horror Movie Marathon Madness Circus of Coulrophobes Week 1

American Horror Story: Freakshow (2014)

Before I jump into my week of viewing I figured I would put all of my AHS viewing up front as I watched almost the entire season 4 over the course of the week

Episode 1: 4 Points (ATB for clown committing murder)

Episode 2: 4 Points (ATB for clown committing murder)

Episode 3: 4 Points (Clown toy in credits, someone dressed up as a clown, traveling circus)

Episode 4: 4 Points (ATB for clown committing murder)

Episode 5: 4 Points (Clown toy in credits, actual sideshow actor (Mat Fraser), traveling circus)

Episode 6: 4 Points (Clown toy in credits, actual sideshow actor (Mat Fraser), traveling circus)

Episode 7: 4 Points (Clown toy in credits, actual sideshow actor (Mat Fraser), traveling circus)

Episode 8: 4 Points (Clown toy in credits, actual sideshow actor (Mat Fraser), traveling circus)

Episode 9: 4 Points (Clown toy in credits, actual sideshow actor (Mat Fraser), traveling circus)

Episode 10: 4 Points (Clown toy in credits, actual sideshow actor (Mat Fraser), traveling circus)

Episode 11: 4 Points (Clown toy in credits, actual sideshow actor (Mat Fraser), traveling circus)

I have not kept up with AHS over the years. I did watch season 1 but dropped off at season 2. I think I watched the opening episodes of season 3 and 4 but that was it. I saw this Madness theme as a good reason to jump into season 4. The nice thing about the series is each season is its own story independent of previous seasons making it easy to jump in. So far I'm 11 episodes in out of the 13 and it's been pretty uneven. There are some real standout moments, Kathy Bates as the bearded woman gives a really strong performance and I also found Mat Fraser to have a really strong presence. Twisty the clown is a really terrifying iteration of a killer clown so his early departure was a bit disappointing though it would have been difficult to see his story last over 13 episodes. The character of Dandy is a bit difficult as he's too much of stereotypical rich sociopath. The fact that he has become such a focus particularly in these later episodes is a bit frustrating. Also, while episode 10 focusing entirely on Pepper was pretty pointless outside of that final shot foreshadowing the future of Elsa, the episode itself was pretty depressing and kind of devastating to see a character like Pepper go through so much horror. I am interested to see what the last two episodes hold but overall I can see why I never stuck with the series. The show isn't scary. It's shocking, but shock does not equal scary for me. 3/5

Sunday October 2nd

Clown (2014)

A guy dresses up in an old clown costume only to discover that once he puts it on it's not so easy to take off. A fun movie if not a bit long with some good gore and a few shocking deaths. 2.5/5
Points: 6 (ATB for clown committing murder)


Victor Salva is a piece of garbage. Clownhouse is one of those movies where I'm happy to own a bootleg VHS rip as any official release would potentially mean more money in his pocket. The movie itself isn't bad but still an uncomfortable watch knowing its backstory. 2.5/5
Points: 6 (ATB for clown committing murder)

Carnival of Souls(1962)

I tried watching Carnival of Souls many years ago and never got through it. I guess I must have been in the wrong frame of mind as I quite enjoyed this viewing. Even though it's clear what is happening the atmosphere is great and I loved the ending. 4/5
Points: 6 (ATB carnival collects souls)

Hocus Pocus(1993)

My youngest daughter actually wanted to watch this so I couldn't say not. My over familiarity with it has tainted it quite a bit but it's still fun to watch with my girls who really enjoy it. 2.5/5
Points: 2

Halloween Wars(2016)

Elvira and Don Mancini were the guest judges and the themes had to do with selfies and witches and warlocks. For the first round I would have gone with the pumpkin devouring the girl as I just found it more gruesomely fun but agreed with the second round pick. 3/5
Points: 4 (ATB for the premiere night viewing)

Monday October 3rd

Simpsons Treehouse of Horror III

The Threehouse of Horror episodes are an annual watch for me and I usually find myself going back to the same ones. I will always search out any that meet the ATB but otherwise I'll avoid the later ones most of the time. In this episode Homer buys an evil Krusty doll for Bart, a giant ape is captured in a King Kong parody titled "King Homer" and zombies run amok in Springfield after Bart and Lisa attempt to resurrect Snowball. While I'm not really fond of the middle section the opening and closing segments are right up my alley so it's a solid entry in the series. 4/5
Points: 3 (ATB for clown doll attaching a human)

Tuesday October 4th

Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XIX

This episode features a parody of Transformers, a segment where Homer finds word killing off celebrities and a parody of Charlie Brown where Millhouse brings about destruction and murder when he conjures up the Grand Pumpkin. The final segment is the most fun for me, the other two are fine. 2.5/5
Points: 3 (ATB for Krusty being killed by Homer)

Wednesday October 5th

Kids Halloween Baking Championship (2016)

My oldest daughter loves the kids cooking competitions so once she saw this was on we had no choice but to watch it. These kids are more accomplished bakers at 10 then I am at 33. One kid manages to raise up a cake on rice krispy treats, that's talent. 3/5
Points: 1

Thursday October 6th

Simpsons Treehouse of Horror I

My wife doesn't understand my love for the Simpsons and now she has to content with two of us as my oldest daughter loves it. This very first Simpsons Halloween special features segments that to me are classics though the next few years would really find their stride. The first has the family move into an evil house, the second is a parody of a classic Twilight Zone episode where the Simpsons believe they are being prepared as a meal for some hungry aliens and the final is their take on Poe's The Raven. 4/5
Points: 1 (Bart sleeps with a clown doll)

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

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I grew up watching this on HBO. I introduced my friends to it and we'd watch it constantly. It still stands as one of my favorite 80s horror comedies. From the costumes and props to the giant cotton candy cocoons I love all of it.

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6 points (ATB for clown committing murder)

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Saturday October 8th

Clowntown (2016)

It's about what I expected from a direct to video killer clown movie. It has it's moments but not something I would revisit. Some of the clowns are surprisingly effective but the leads are pretty bland and terrible. This wouldn't have been on the front of my list if it hadn't been for the bonus. 2/5
Points: 12 (First week viewing bonus)

The Crow (1993)

My wife had never seen The Crow and it had been years since I watched it. The movie still holds up and has maybe even improved since I was younger. I can probably relate a bit more to the plight of Draven more than I could when I was in my early 20's. 4/5
Points: 2

Fright Night (1985)

I watch it every year. It's one of my favorite horror films and I'm pretty sure has been included in all three years of my madness viewing. It never gets old for me and will always stand as a classic with just the right blend of solid horror and comedy. 5/5
Points: 2

Total Week 1 Points: 98

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Podcast Episode 55 - City of the Living Dead & Burial Ground.

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In episode 55 we cover two Italian horror classics! Lucio Fulci's City of the Living Dead and Burial Ground: Nights of Terror starring everyone's favorite little person posing as a child, Peter Bark! We also discuss what's happening in the news, what we've been watching and more. Enjoy!